Week 1 Story: Stone Cold
The chamber was warm and comfortable, and looked nothing like a sickroom. He worked hard to make it a cheerful place for her final days. Breeze from the ocean kept the room from smelling stale, and the large curtains allowed for plenty of light.
The illness had worsened over the last year, in spite of the healer's efforts. Her episodes were infrequent at first, and so mild at the beginning that he did not realize they were an issue. He simply assumed she was lost in thought, until the pauses grew longer, and longer. A seizure, they said, could be the reason. A total cessation of movement, as though the body was taking a time out.
He sat by her bed, clasping her hand within his, and waited for her to come back. The evening hour sometimes brought her back, and he waited every night beside her. This night was lucky. Around sunset, color came back into her pale face, and she sat up in bed. She asked how long, and he told her a while. It was the same answer he always gave, and it was easier this way.
He helped her up and out to the balcony, where they watched the waves glitter in darkness beneath a crescent moon. They ate together, talking about their son, and his new daughter. He told her of the latest comedy, and assured her she would come with him to the next. They drank a glass of wine, played backgammon, and laughed at each other for cheating. The evening lasted longer than he hoped for, and just before dawn they fell asleep in each other's arms.
Pygmalion woke the next morning, cold, and he knew it had happened in the night. His heart trembled as he looked at his wife, and he beheld a face paler than ivory resting motionless beside him, framed by her silver hair. No breath stirred in her chest, no life shined from her eyes, and no warmth remained in her body. It had returned to stone, and she moved no more. A perfect statue of his Galatea remained in her place, the white marble now streaked with grey.
Old couple holding hands. Pinterest
Author's note
I've always loved the story of Pygmalion, and reading the Kline rendition this week made me wonder what kind of life they would have had together. I pictured them here as a sweet, devoted couple who lived for each other. Which led to me really wondering... what happens when she dies? What if her body gets reclaimed by the stone she was made from? I was strongly reminded of the descent into Alzheimer's, picturing a woman who slowly loses chunks of time from her life until there's almost no life left.
Story source
Kline, Tony. Ovid's Metamorphoses. Pygmalion.
Hi Laura,
ReplyDeleteWow, I really liked this story. I had no idea what story this was based on until the last paragraph where it's revealed that the man is Pygmalion. Although this story is sad even if you don't know who Pygmalion is, reading the original story and seeing how much he loved Galatea and how overjoyed he was when she came to life makes this story even more tragic. Exploring what happens when a living statue dies is an interesting topic to write about and I think her having worse and worse "episodes" is a clever concept.
Your story was so good! I loved this epilogue-esque extension. I must admit, it almost made me cry a bit. It's so fitting that you related her terminal condition back to her origin as a statue; that part was quite poetic. I can see the parallels you drew between it and Alzheimer's. Your wording was beautiful and I appreciated this so much. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHi Laura!
ReplyDeleteI thought your story was really interesting. It almost reminded me of the Notebook in a silly way. I loved how you used your descriptive words and how this story could make you feel something in so few words. It was really good and I hope to read more of your work!
You had me captured from the first sentence, you did a really good job at capturing the moment within your story and draw me into it. Describing the environment, the smells, the lighting and so on made it extremely easy to feel like I was in the room, which in turn helped me to feel attached to the characters of the story. After the environmental description you eased me, the reader, into the reality that you were touching upon, death and sorrow, and despite the heavy topic talked about, it felt lighthearted and happy, it reminiscenced of beauty and love. I really enjoyed how you took the story of Pygmalion and kind of turned it on its head, and instead of talking about the lust for love, you talked about the loss of it, but not loss through sadness, but rather loss that we could come to terms with, a loss of something that has run its time, something that we can all relate to. After reading this I wonder how the rest of their lives were, it would have been interesting to see, either here, or as separate stories, flashbacks of their lives together. This could have made the story emotionally stronger and given the reader a stronger connection to the characters.
ReplyDelete- Anna Margret
Hi Laura! I really enjoyed reading your story. It is a sad story but you feel satisfied knowing they had one last great night together. I think the strongest aspect of this story is your use of description and imagery. As I was reading, I could clearly picture this story in my mind. I also liked how you mentioned the onset of her symptoms up till her last breath.
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