Comment Wall
I chose to use Twine this semester as the storyboard, and I highly recommend exploring the Prologue before jumping right into the stories.
Image source: Pixabay
Music source: Joromix
I chose to use Twine this semester as the storyboard, and I highly recommend exploring the Prologue before jumping right into the stories.
Hi Laura!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your site! I have never used that type of reading/writing method before. I thought it was very cool that it was interactive with the readers. It helps people stay more alert when reading (unlike your story character grading papers!). I am going to be very interested to read the "Rune" story when it is complete! Good job on making the story lead readers on and wanting to know more. I also enjoyed your graphics and the format of the words at each point.
I think it would be really cool if there are 2 possible words to click on that if you click one it takes through one version of the story or scene and if you click the other it is a different version.
Right now it is kind of like that but it still ends up at the same point. It would be cool if it leads to different outcomes based on what word you picked! Just a suggestion! Otherwise I really enjoyed this story!
Hey Laura! I love these types of stories where there's that element of choice sprinkled in, where we get to decide our fate a little bit! I've had a lot of those moments when trying to complete homework, so seeing it in the story was such a welcome sight (it didn't hurt that as I was reading, I had that feeling where the letters float aimlessly. It's been a long weekend haha). It's such an interesting concept, and I'm happy that it works so well! It would require a little extra work, but I do think it would be a fun endeavor if there were a couple extra choices; not so much that the story would have 100 different endings, but I feel like it could add some more depth to the story. What if we had tried to push on without coffee or a nap, fell asleep at our desk, and woke up with a headache from our head slamming into the wood? Overall, I love the story and can't wait to read Rune!
ReplyDeleteHello Laura!
ReplyDeleteI have never read through anything on an interactive platform like this, and I have to say I really enjoyed the prologue! I actually laughed out loud reading this when I realized how long it took me to figure out that the coffee option always brought you back to the beginning to choose to take a nap. That was a great way of showing how the character actually feels when grading papers and also makes the reader feel like they're making a choice in the progression of the story while you're still in control. I liked the way you gave some living qualities to inanimate objects like when you mention that the papers "glare" at the reader. The only suggestion I would recommend is maybe carrying the coffee option a little further in the prologue but still bring the reader back to taking a nap. Maybe have the character get up and walk around so the reader can get a better understanding of the environment they're in. Overall this was very fun to read and I'm looking forward to seeing more!
Hi Laura,
ReplyDeleteI think it's really cool that you're using Twine for your project. The interactivity helps to make your project more engaging. I also enjoyed how you used images throughout the story.
On the topic of images, I would like to mention that at one point there was a little bit of white text over a white part of an image which made the text harder to read. I took a screenshot so you could see what I'm talking about. It's nothing major, but it's something to keep in mind if you plan on using more images in your stories.
I like how you used loops to encourage the reader to pick the other choice to continue the story, but I think it would also be interesting if you let multiple choices lead to story progression. What I mean is that, for example, for the coffee/nap decision, if the reader chooses coffee, eventually the story just keeps looping back to the coffee/nap choice until the reader chooses the nap. Instead, you could try something like keeping track of how many times the reader chooses coffee and maybe after the 2nd or 3rd time, it doesn't help and they fall asleep anyway. Or maybe you can set it up to where each time they choose coffee, it's a 50/50 chance whether it keeps them or not. Twine is pretty versatile, so you have a lot of options for creative ways of getting the reader to go down the path that you want them to.
Hi Laura, when I started reading your story I could not help but to think that you might be an anthropology/linguistics major, but I just read through your introduction and saw that you are not. I am super interested in linguistics and Anthropology (i'm minoring in Anthropology) so I find the concept for your story fascinating and I am looking forward to see where you will be taking us with the different languages.
ReplyDeleteThe set up for your storybook, making it so interactive, it reminded me of Zork https://classicreload.com/zork-i.html , which is an old interactive game that I loved when I was starting to learn how to program. Maybe that is something that you would enjoy!
- Anna Margret
Hi, Laura! I really enjoyed looking at your website and seeing what you have been doing with it so far this semester. Right off the bat, I might suggest not making the background color for your website and the comment wall black. It almost makes it look a little scary and eery. It might be a little nicer to have it be a dark gray or some other dark color. I really like the idea behind your project, and I think it is a very unique thing to be basing an entire project after. I also really like the way you have the setup for your storybook make. I think it will be really fun to read a project that is meant to be interactive between the readers and the author. I do like the idea of using Twine, and how much space that gives you for allowing your readers to go down the path that you want them to. Overall, I really enjoyed reading what you have done so far and I look forward to reading more from you as the class goes on! Have a great semester!
ReplyDeleteHello Lara!
ReplyDeleteThis is such a cool website for your storybook! I didn't even know that these existed! It was a bit difficult to read with the color of the website being predominantly black. It might be a little more helpful to change the coloring so that it is easier to read. I think this is going to be a really cool and exciting project to work on and I am excited to see what comes next! I am so interested in seeing how your stories will unfold. This is such an interactive approach and I think that makes it even easier to get your audience involved in the story more. Especially if they are a "choose your own adventure" type. Those types of books were some of my favorites growing up. I loved to read through with some choices and then continue to restart the book and see how different it will be the next time around. Looking forward to what you do with this!
Hi Laura! I really enjoyed the layout of your blog, it was easy to navigate and fun to look at. I personally liked the color scheme you had going because I like a dark background. The introduction was good but it seemed to be a little short to me. I would have loved to see a little more detail in it. I am excited to read your story once it is done. How many stories are you thinking about doing? I know that was the hardest part for me. It is hard to break up the larger story into multiple little stories without it sounding odd, at least for me it is. Good luck writing your story and finishing the your whole site! I am sure it will be great!
ReplyDelete-Kaylee Martin
Hi Laura! I am very fascinating with your blog. The combination of those pictures and the black background really creates an ancient theme, which associates with the ancient letters. Although i could not understand the written languages on these stones, but it's fun to explore this. I couldn't imagine how the Maya script depicting the creator god Itzamna. Is it a written language or a drawing? I know that those figures have their own meanings but it is too complex and too hard for actually "write" or "draw".
ReplyDeleteI am also interested in exploring the Twine Prologue. It is fun to play a twine also.
The story itself also pleasure to read. I laugh multiple times when i read about the swimming letters, since i am in the same situation now. Those words just fly around because my eyes are tired and blurry.
The story reminds me of my aunt, who is also a teacher but not a anthropology teacher like you. She is teaching in a physical science field. Everytime she grades her students' works, the letters just "swim" around because their handwriting is not pretty good. ^.^
Hi Laura,
ReplyDeleteI think your introduction does a fine job at informing the reader about what to expect, in terms of some background information and what perspective the reader will be 'playing'. It is really cool how you have all of the pictures and information, this also plays well with creating a setting for the reader.
Wow (and I am not just saying that because that is part of our feedback strategies), I really like your use of Twine. I think the whole idea of an interactive story is and intriguing style.
I took your advice and jumped back and forth to see where each decision would take me. I was a little confused why one of the choices took me back to the beginning, but quickly assumed that it was because I made the wrong choice. It would be helpful to the readers if you clarified that somewhere, either in the introduction or somewhere on the prologue page. However, once I got through the story, I enjoyed how you had links to the other stories to come. I was wondering, why did you choose to allow the reader to jump to whatever story, even though they may choose one that the skips the next?
I am excited to see how you develop your story further into the semester, great job!
Hey Laura! Wow, your project is so unique! I think it's such a fun idea to make your project into a learning tool for others. A lot of other projects are fun and unique stories to read, but I think yours is a way to learn more about Letters and everything that goes with that topic. I think your introduction is well-written and explains clearly what the reader can expect to read and learn about as they work through your project. I also love how you have set up your formatting and the way your project flows. The use of the dark colors and pictures really sets the mood for when you're reading. I also liked how yo described a line or a story before you wrote it. That really helps the reader have a little knowledge and understanding prior before they start reading. I'm looking forward to reading and learning more as the semester progresses. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteHi Laura!
ReplyDeleteI loved reading your story earlier in the semester and so it was fun to come back and see the progress. You can see the improvements that you have made and the story moving forward. I still the fact that the readers get to be interactive with the story. It makes reading a little more exciting. I know some of the stories are not complete yet, but I like that at the end of the prologue depending on what you pick depends on what story you go to. The rune story was good and I am excited to see the other two to be complete. I also liked that on the rune story page that while you click on words to move through the story you also have the full story written below. That helped me go back and reread an area where I got a little confused. It was much easier than having to go back and click my way through again. I might recommend adding that to all the pages.
Hi Laura! Your project is so unique and interesting! I always love seeing people use Twine in their story... I love that it adds an interactive portion to the reading! I was a little confused about the "contents, accessibility, and support page" and where each of these options brought me. I like how contents brought me to the contents of the book, but was not entirely sure what the purpose of the other two page is. I appreciated that you already have the options for your future stories in your story.... I'm looking forward to reading them. Is there any path in your story that leads you to your "Children of the Maize" story? I tried clicking through different options but I am not sure if I clicked through them all! I usually ended up on the "Runes" story, but wasn't sure if another path would bring me to the other story!
ReplyDeleteThis is so dope!
ReplyDeleteI am not a technologically adept person, so I don't know how you did this interactive bit in the prologue but it's amazing. I don't have the time to play around with every combination, but I really want to. Do all roads lead to the same ends? I chose napping and later clicked contents, and I saw that you have yet to add some of the other stories for this project but I am hella supportive of what you already have. This is super creative and I don't know if my excitement or impressed-ness is coming through but believe, I will be coming back for the rest of your story. Amazing.
Hi Laura! I just got done looking at your project and I love it! I am from the Indian Epics class and decided to browse some of the Myth and Folklore class projects. It is by far the most unique I have seen. When I went to you prologue and clicked on each link, I was honestly amazed at how it was set up! Good job with the layout for sure! Your first story "Runes" was good and I definitely saw the connection with the theme you are following. I love that your prologue is in first person as well! I also definitely think your author's notes are good and help explain the background on that writing style. I loved your second story also! I was intrigued and read it super fast cause I wanted to reach the end! I like the font you chose because it works really well with the style you chose for your project! I am looking forward to looking at some more of your stories!
ReplyDeleteHey Laura!
ReplyDeleteThis is my first time visiting your project since the first week of October and I must say a lot has changed! Once again I was impressed with how unique your project design is. Not only is your story captivating in itself, but the manner in which you intend for your audience to read it draws them in as well. It is truly refreshing to have to click some text to reach the next bit of information rather than scrolling down with the mouse wheel. I can't say that I have any suggestions to correct anything that stuck out like a sore thumb. Perhaps if I were to change one thing I might look into switching out the photo on the last slide of the "Rune" story with something that allows the text to be a little easier on the eyes. Another thing I might add would be links to go back to the table of contents in the "Prologue" once you click on a story that hasn't been completed yet. Overall I thoroughly enjoyed being able to go through your project again. Keep up the good work!
1. Hi Laura! I was surprised when I heard music playing in the background when I clicked on your comment wall, but it was very calming and I really enjoyed it! That is a small detail that I have not seen before and it makes me excited to read your stories! Reading your introduction makes me excited to see what you have in store for your audience. When you say that you are excited and how you enjoyed making your story with Twine, it really sets up your audience for excitement! I’m also pleased to see that you told us what character we are playing. I love the small details in your story. Only one suggestion—I had a hard time reading some of the text when there are pictures behind it and I think you might give the reader too many options when choosing the stories as the prologue goes on. I’m not sure what you meant by “Runes on top” or “Glyphs in the middle.” Otherwise, great job!!
ReplyDeleteHi Laura!
ReplyDeleteFrom the moment I started reading, your story held my focus completely. You do a great job of describing not only what is happening, but the surroundings as well, involving several senses at once. I really enjoyed the tales that you chose, as well as the way that you set them up. As I was reading your first story, then your second, I wasn't totally sure how they were connected. Was I supposed to be able to reach the Mayan story through the prologue? I appreciated the detail and the pacing involved in both of the stories, as it made it easy to feel involved in both of the timelines. I also thought your choice of words in the prologue was amusing. It felt much more in the vein of computer programming than a book, and the thought of a book having a "support" page made me smile. I'm looking forward to returning and reading the rest!
Hi Laura,
ReplyDeleteI thought your stories were all really interesting and I enjoyed reading them. Your use of Twine was really neat, especially how you used the different kinds of text or sometimes had a delay on the text showing up or had a link to the next passage that was flashing or... everything else that you did with Twine basically. I did notice at the end of the Rune story that there were some options that lead to stories that it said weren't created yet. I don't know if you were intending to add more stories there or to just link to your other stories. Either way, it's less than 12 hours until the end of this class, so unfortunately it's probably a little bit too late to change anything. Other than that, I didn't have any problems or questions about your project and I thought it was really great.